She is at that age. Depending on her will and temperment, the next 5 years could be hell. That has nothing to do with whether or not you are a good parent. I take it back, if you were a bad parent you wouldn't even be fighting with her, you would just let her go and do all the stupid things that she wants to do.
Don't blame yourself. Don't leave your family. She needs you to fight with her. I threw plates at my son. Ruined a nice set of china. It didn't change him, but he knew I tried. He knew I cared. If you don't show you care they will push harder.
Let me tell you. A lot of kids die between the ages of 15 and 25 because of the stupid, self-destructive things they do. Don't get angry at yourself for trying to prevent your daughter from going in the wrong direction. She needs you to do that.
