Your best bet is to just go with the divorce... do you really want to fight it? She will just hold onto her anger at you and continue to blame you for everything. Is that something you'd really want? Eventually you'd get tired of it and hate her. Sure we know that she's probably making a huge mistake, OM is a loser, she has mental problems, etc...
Trying to talk her out of divorce and out of the relationship with OM is a complete waste of time. The more you are against this, the more she will want it. At this point she probably only wants the divorce... not because she wants it, but because you don't want it.
You cannot have a worthwhile marriage if she doesn't want to be there. At this point she's trying to run while you're trying to hold onto the leash. You need to let go.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
