Bruce, Did something happen in her life about 18-24 months prior to her crisis?
From what you recently posted, yes, her childhood was quite stunted. She was most likely made to feel that she whatever she did was never good enough for her parents. They had the bar set too high for her. Her emotional growth was stunted possibly around the age of 13-16, therefore, she will need to go back to that time and try to grow emotionally from there.
It's very sad that parents can't accept their children for who they are and understand that children have limitations as well and need the love, nuturing and admiration even if they aren't always doing the best. Parents, back when we all came along, didn't understand what they were doing was damaging the children and their inner selves. Today, I believe parents are stating to look at all of these things and are coming to realize that our inner selves are very fragile and need that tender loving care, admiration and validation.
I do hope that things will work out for you and your wife. Bruce, whether you want to believe it or not, you are not at fault for what's transpired. Something happened to trigger her to go down this path and that's why I inquired about something happening during that time frame before she began her journey.
Please take care of yourself. Keep the focus on you for now. She's going to be okay, but she needs to find herself and come to accept that she did absolutely nothing wrong so long ago.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
