Sorry to be negative as well, but after all we are pretty much in the same place.
Originally Posted By: waw1978
I myself have really let go of the idea that this can fixed. I really think that our relationship may be unrepairable. I don't think we can ever rekindle what we had. I am not sure that I want to anymore. I will never be #1 to him...always 5th after my D and his family. That will never change. I was never #1 to begin with. I refuse to settle for anything less. I am better than #5.
These thoughts of yours really hit home for me. I've been thinking a whole lot about older couples that I know. On the outside it appears that things are and have always been wonderful. But, if you know the real story behind their sitch you will usually find things haven't always been a bed of roses. For example, I know a couple H was abusive, W had affairs (which came first? I don't know) in any case they spent 25+ years married with multiple separations. In the process they raised 2 screwed up kids and the marriage finally ended in divorce. Another couple unhappy marriage, wife had affair but came back, lost a child, and are still married although not seemingly happy. Examples like this make me wonder if it is not better to just walk away and start over. Even if we make it, 1)will we have screwed up our kids in the process, and 2)will we truly be happy or settling for a life of pretend.
I guess I'm questioning whether or not it is realistic to think that my H and I can ever have that happy ever after relationship that I thought I was getting when we got married after everything that has happened.
WAW1978 - You are better than #5, and if your H doesn't think you are worth fighting for then you don't need him, but give him time. He may be just as miserable on the BIG Trip as you are sitting at home. Sounds like he has a lot of pride and you'd be the last to know how miserable he is.......
