Chrome, I'm not entirely sure I expressed myself the way I intended.
Thinking that all that is needed for success is to correctly identify the necessary changes in yourself and then make them .... that IS the trap. You can indeed "change everything you need to change in the right way" ... and still "fail". This is *always* a possibility when dealing with another freewilled flawed human.
You can't necessarily "right" yourself into your wife's pants -- or heart. That IS terrifying, because it does mean that it is ultimately out of your control.
It only becomes tragic if you wind up feeling like a stupid, insensitive, pathetic failure of a man because omnipotence eludes you.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
