Cobra, it cuts both ways. I have at times made advances in a light-hearted humorous "no harm no foul" way *exactly* for the reasons you state. So he doesn't feel pressured thus guilty, angry, or frustrated with me for asking in the first place. For a variety of reasons, true, not all of them particularly differentiated. But when you get right down to it, a guilty/angry/frustrated partner (especially if LD) is rarely a lustful partner. So it's been to my benefit to 'defuse with humour'; sometimes it works.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
