The "problem" is that these suggestions won't elicit immediate responses from your wife. This is about an attitude change over a long period of time. This is not about tricks but long term changes.
True, but perhaps a deeper problem is that I was falsely buoyed by "success" in the recent past, when it is clear that it was driven more by a hormone surge than any true changed feelings. And I truly don't want a bag of tricks to pull out. I was just acting in ways that I thought would bring about results, both internally and in how others perceive me. Kindof like reciting the affirmations even though you don't believe them until you do.
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Anyway, just keep doing the right things and they will begin to add up?
Well, the question I am now asking myself is "have I been doing the right things, or have I just been going backwards while fooling myself?"
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Is there any activity the two of you can do together at home (outside of the obvious:))? Putting together a puzzle, learning a language, cooking together, having friends over to play card, etc.? Anything that could draw the two of you together?
I have been trying to do such things. I "instituted" date nights every other week, but many have been cancelled for one reason or another (one W was sick, another babysitter couldn't make it at last moment, etc.). I've planned to do our next one this Thursday. I would love to have more company over to do fun stuff, and that's a fight I think I'm winning ... slowly. I have seen a little progress on convincing her to go on me on some of my school trips (at least the ones where we could have some fun together that are not all just sitting around in meetings). She is slowly coming out of her mom shell.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
