Bruce, if your spouse is in MLC...then they have been a walking time-bomb since childhood or early adolescence.
Here are some books that might help:
[list] [*]Silent Sons (you may want to read Perfect Daughters by the same author Robert Ackerman) [*]Women in Midlife Crisis by Jim and Sally Conway
I read SIlent Sons as it pertained to my H and "Understanding the MidLife Crisis" by Peter O'Connor...that has been an excellent book.
Look, it's a LIFE CRISIS whether its during the middle years or whatever...there are things inside of her that she may or may not understand. SHe may have moments of extreme clarity....she may SEEM like she has extreme clarity when telling you the most vile things...it goes both ways.
good luckin your reading! I hope others come to your thread and offer you some good advice.
Valentine
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller