I took your advice and sent two long emails, expecting nothing. NOTHING'S TOO GOOD FOR FLTC, AND NOTHING HE'LL GET!
Ever see Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That spoiled little brat Violet. Daddy, I want it and I want it NOW!!!!!!
I think you have your W pretty well pegged, she's sick. She is definately sick. Could be a phschological condition, could be menopause, could be chemical, childhood trauma, etc. But there is no question that she is sick.
So how would you treat her if she were comatose? Would you be angry with her? Would you see yourself as being worthless because she did'nt respond to you? For better or worse, in sickness and in health. Well, it's a major illness right now my brother, could even be terminal. So how will you treat her in her comatose state?
I'm glad you sent the emails. The fact that she has'nt responded means that she has'nt responded. Nothing more, nothing less. The important thing is that YOU did the right thing. YOU had the balls to do the right thing, to extend your hand in peace. The only thing you still have to work on are YOUR expectations. You said you had no expectations but you had to have, otherwise you would not have been so disappointed that she did'nt respond to you.
I sent many emails to my W. Explained everything to her, my deepest feelings, fears, regrets. Line after line, paragraph after paragraph. I usually got something in return, yet, not always. Some of my deepest most sincere letters drew no response. And never did I get more than a sentence or two in return. Usually just polite and professional, a one line response to a two page letter. But looking back, I realize those letters must have had a deeper impact on her.
Our W's are just not in the same world as us right now, but the big question is, can we handle that? That is truly the struggle YOU are in. It's not about your W, it's about YOU. The longer you go on expecting somebody else to make you whole, and fulfilled in life, the longer you will go on feeling like dirt.
You are a good man FLTC. You've got a great heart, and a willing spirit. You are on the right track, but you are dealing with a sick person. It's time to give, to let go, and to teach her what love really means(and only use words if you have to).
Hang in there brother!
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
