Want to see how to enforce a boundary? Go back and read BF’s comments to you. He set you straight on how he felt by your comparison, let you know in no uncertain terms he would not stand for it, and implied a consequence, one that you know he will likely keep. Remember that old saying, “He who cares the least controls the relationship.” Who is caring more to maintain the relationship with BF, you or he? I know BF cares about you, but not to the point of enduring whatever he considers insulting. So instead you bent over backward to apologize. LFL was right in her post to you, IMO.
There is no need to search for the right amount of seriousness or joking when you aren’t sure about yourself or your W. Rather just be honest. I think your joking is to avoid hurting her feelings and thus getting rejected yourself. Tell her whether you want sex or to just cuddle. If she is concerned about getting sleepy, find another way to engage her that will keep her awake.
Why can the computer keep her attention better than you? What is she looking at? Discuss what she is doing. If the evening ends up as you described, at least confront her on the fact that she said she needed her sleep but instead stayed up for 3 more hours. Rattle her cage about this and tell her to use better self discipline to keep her sleep. Once she gets behind in sleep, it will accumulate into the next day and affect your chances of having sex again, so I think you do have a vested interest in expressing your frustration her web browsing. It hurts the marriage. I also think it is an escape for her. Confront that issue too.
