BeingMe: Yeah, I've thought about the "not giving me false hope" a bunch of times, and deep down inside I don't want to admit that's what it most likely is. I also take a look at what COG told me and I do feel that I am a really good guy who has a lot to offer to somebody, hopefully the woman I promised to stay with forever, some 22 years ago in October.
All the advice about being that "alpha male" take charge guy aside, we all have frailties as human beings. Mine happened to be that I "didn't satisy my W.'s emotional needs" and I was did not "take initative" in things like planning meals, planning financial stuff, even though I made about 140K a year due to the militray and my civilian job. she was a math major and a benefis analyst..just better with numbers. There's not a room I wouldn't clean, an event I wouldn't take our kids to, an event I wouldn't attend with her for any reason.
As you may recall in 94 she had an operation and she really did almost die, and I had decided to attend an Army school, last phase that I need for promotion. Huge mistake. I got it..... Michele wrote a whole newsletter about that one being a life-changer and I guess it was......she never forgave me. Guilty as charged.
That aside, nothing was ever right, no matter how hard I tried. Nothing was ever taken as delivered when I did make decisions. Each small decision would always come with a list of itmes that I had no considered or which made my decision invalid, inaccurate or usually...wrong. We're eating too early...you're taking a longer route than we need to..fuel inefficient. Too slow..Too fast..... You didn't plan....................
when I mentioned anything that she might correct, it would get twisted..."So, I'm a Shi**y Mother". When she physically fought with my daughter, that was my fault for not telling ehr to stop. I did..to no avail. D17 is now in Utah at a school for troubled kids...7K a month. I'm not blameless, just frustrated beyond hell.
I guess it looks like I'm trying to play the victim, but I couldn't have tried harder once I knew she was really unhappy. I'm so sad for my kids for our family, and of course I replay the "what if" video over and over and........
lemondrop: Sure I remember you. Hopefully, you'll look in one me when you might get a chance. I'm very happy for you. Your situation looked hopeless (much like winning in Iraq did a year ago!) It does go to show...you never know... Fill me in when you get a chance. I must admit, I'm a little jealous.
In closing..I am very proud of my service here, and the soldiers who work for me. NoHill once told me his life split as cleanly as a Saltine into his life before Iraq, and after Iraq. I truly believe it will effect me that way too. Believe in the war or not, all of you would be incredibly proud of the young Americans who are here...There IS no Greatest Generation...they're all great, and this generation of young warrior is as brave and dedicated as any of there forefathers.
A kid the other night went back to a vehicle engulfed in flames several times trying to save a comrade in a vehicle hit by an IED. His hands had third degree burns from trying to get the doors open..all to no avail. He would not quit.........he had to be pulled away from the vehicle. A
All America seems to care about is Lindsey Lohan, and the congressman with the "particularly wide stance" in the airport bathroom.
This kid will never see below the fold in the Des Moines Journal.
