Nomopo's Funk? Is that what this is?

[Nomopo]

Hello all. Ok, last thread locked, so here's a new one. My recap/summary is below.

I wasn't sure what to call this one. Several recent thread titles have involved patience, which is probably still appropriate, but decided "funk" may more accurately describe how I feel right now. I do feel like I am battling patience issues daily. And emotions, I guess, but the emotions have shifted (arew shifting?) from sadness, fear, desperation, etc. towards anger, bitterness, resentment, frustration. I think about my W and my sitch less these days, but when I do think about things generally I get angry at what W has done to me and our family. She has done some terrible things, and I deserve(d) better.

And I get frustrated at the limbo - it feels like nothing is happening, and days are just falling off the calendar. Lost days, lost opportunities for me, for us, for our family. Yes, I am taking care of me, and doing things by myself (GAL), and trying to focus on me, but when my thoughts turn to what is happening it is tough. So I try not to let my thoughts go there.

Also, I am less motivated to be on these boards, and less motivated to do anything related to DBing. I am not particularly excited about therapy sessions (joint or individual), DB coaching, reading books or articles, posting on these boards, reviewing my plan, anything. Basically, I am am "sick of this Sh!t." Impatience, I guess, pretty much sums it up. There's a big part of me that wants to just move on down the road and leave W and this whole mess behind. There's another part of me that wants to keep DBing (or trying to DB), almost exclusively for my kids. There's an even smaller part of me that stil believes that if W came around and decided to fully re-invest in fixing our R/M, that we could do it (after a long time and a lot of hard work), and that we could be very happy together.

Oh well. Enough ranting. Any thoughts? Any of the more experieced posters been through this? Is it just a phase or longer lasting? Any tips on dealing with it? Anyone else feeling this now?

Thanks,
Nomopo

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Here is a summary of my sitch:

Me: 39; WAW: 38
Married: Nov. 1997 (began dating Dec. 1993).
First marriages for both.
Son (7) and daughter (4).
Initial Bomb: May 8, 2005 (Mother's Day and D's birthday)
Traditional couples therapy started: Dec. 2005
"Maybe we should call it quits" Bomb: Jan. 22nd (aka "looking into the [divorce] abyss"); W not working on M
Emotional Affair discovered: Feb. 22nd
Ultimatum regarding EA given: Feb. 29th
Response ending EA, but not working on M, given: Mar. 4th
Divorce Busting begins ("rookie league"): April 10th
Solutions-Based, Goal-Oriented Therapist found: April 12th (Wife is going now!)
"Should we explore a separation?": May 10th
"I want a "trial" separation": May 22nd
Told kids about separation: June 9th (6:00 pm)
Separation implemented: June 11th
Unsure about status of EA; unsure what W is thinking

Some previous alien spew:
"We have no spark and there is no hope."
"We both deserve more."
"I am sad all the time." Depression?
"It's not my fault that it took 15 months of therapy for you to have a breakthrough and finally understand what you were doing and how unhappy I am."
"I do not see any hope of you changing and us being happy together."