I have never wanted those things. I want to be in a partnership with the man I love. I don't like being alone, feeling like the third wheel...I feel like a part of me is missing. Even if we didn't go together to the same things, I still felt...connected, anchored, even when apart. In a good way. Now, I am floundering a bit. I realize that he doesn't have the same feelings for me, now; he doesn't care for me the way he used to. It hurts so much when I realize it, when I think back to what he has said and done over the last few months. But it is hard to remember that, when it was different for so long. I was adored, and now I am demonized. I am still not liking this life. But, while I am not embracing it, I am living it.
I am so right there with you. Well, aside from the man I love part :O). You're doing the right thing, the only thing you can do right now: living.
