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[Atlas]

The weekend is going well, I'm having a lot of fun with friends. However, I haven't seen W or the S since Friday morning and that really sucks. Not an ounce of contact between us anymore, not even goodnight calls for the S. The bachelor mindset is really setting in, I miss having them in my life. W did say that she would contact me today and bring the S by so I could see him, but I guess we will see.

[Kld]

Hey Atlas Kld here you told me "she moved, she hasn't left your life yet. you have a lot of talk there like it is done and over, and it isn't. no matter what keep following the dr rules, keep a good pma and things will go well" you have been an insperation for me and verbaly slaped me in the face a time or two. It's hard and some time almost imposible but be of good courage we are here for you I hope thing get better but in the end things will work out they allways do. KLD

[Atlas]

Kld,

Thanks for the post, good to hear from ya.

Well the weekend was a blast with friends, still I would prefer to be sitting on the couch snuggling with W or brushing her hair as she watches one of those reality shows.

She called and brought S by on Monday morning. Small spat about something said to her M that was relayed through SIL (Who is a pot stirrer). I think it may just be a simple misunderstanding, but when no one communicates, well those will happen.

This morning at the drop she seemed chipper, but no real talk. Brought her coffee, man do I want to hug that girl. She was thankful and smiled.

Well who knows, I keep trudging along.

[Atlas]

Question: Ladies any help would be appreciated.

Alright, if W wanted a D she would file, she hasn't. She won't talk about it either, I have pushed. On the other side we are hardly interacting except for our S. I go days without talking to her.

Her major compliants were control, anger and alcohol. Makes a great cake I know. Well she is obviously looking for some change, and I keep trying to work on my changes, GAL, 180. I don't hardly ever argue with her, absolutely do not initiate it. Most interactions are very pleasent. What else can I begin to do to try and move things in a positive direction?

[Atlas]

Well I just got off the phone with an individual from Retrouvaille. He gave a good overview and asked about my sitch. Gave him the run down and he said he thought W and I would be a great for Retrouvaille. I explained that there were no R talks as of current and I think if I asked it would be rejected. He said that is understandable and pretty typical, offered his W's number and said see if you can encourage your W to call her.

Alright, W and I are not talking about us, but she isn't saying the D word either. Yippy!!! I know something like this would help us so much, considering she has said she would like things to work but doesn't think they can or will.

Should I ask anyway, try and have her call this women. If I did it, it would be very low pressure. More of an offer then a last ditch effort sales pitch. Any ideas? Or should I continue on the path we are on now and see what happens?

[Heimlich]

Atlas,
That's a tough one. Guess it boils down to do you feel lucky? If so, throw the dice. If not, let it sit for a week or so. When's the weekend? 6 weeks? You've got a little time, I think.

BD

[Atlas]

Atlas,
When's the weekend? 6 weeks? You've got a little time, I think.

BD

Actually, we live in one of the few states that don't have them. So either way we will be traveling, so we can pretty much pick our location and date, IF she were willing.

[NDDT]

Hey Atlas.......maybe we should set it up so that we are at the same one? If both of our wives refuse to go, we could go together?
Maybe they will think we are a gay couple??? LOL

G

[Atlas]

As many of you know I got the new job. Well there are two small issues to deal with on it. One is that it is a paycut for the first year and they don't offer health insurance. Well currently I work for a company that offers the best benefits and health insurance.

So I called W yesterday to remind her to check with her work on how much it would cost to add our S to her health insurance. She didn't answer so I left a VM. Well at the drop off this morning she is upset with me. I ask what the problem is and she says, "I can't understand your logic in taking this job."

After she spoke for a moment, I haven't wanted to tell her because I don't want her coming home over it, but I told her what I was going to be making in 5 years. Her response "That's your problem your always thinking 5 years ahead and never about today." What does that mean? She is always mad that I plan and organize, and have goals and such. I don't know how to take this, so I should stay in the job I have now, never make much and just float along. I know she feels upset that she "helped" me, ya right I have all the student loans, through school and now it is paying off.

She keeps griping about my poor decision making and how she has no money and she thought she would be getting some help in the form of child support from me and all I talk about is the $500 she owes me. I commented on it yesterday when she said she couldn't pay the daycare.

Well I responded with such, "W, first have I made you pay the $500? No, I haven't. Do I still pay my share of things like daycare? Yes, I have. It isn't my fault you don't have money. You choose to leave, get an apartment you can't afford and then buy a convertable. I'm sorry your stressed about our S's health insurance and how you will pay half, but we are maintaining two households and that is your choice."

Now she wants to talk tonight when she picks him up, I'm sure it isn't about us whatsoever, more about her financial sitch. I feel horrible and want to help her, but don't think I can keep going through this.

[Nugget]

All to often the WAS thinks it is easier to walk away and be on their own than it is to work on the relationship. But, soon they come to the realization that life on their own is not all it is cracked up to be and it is expensive to live by yourself. But, that is the choice that they have made.