Get me on a smoother ride........Need Advice

[SueS]

lwb-

Thanks for the encoragement. I need it today. I'm just so bummed because it was such a great weekend and then to be let down yesterday sucked. I made a big mistake this morning too. I peaked at his phone. It was her that called while I was posting last night. She had to know he was at home with us. However, it doesn't look like he called her though. Dummy me. I know how that makes me feel, but I just wanted to know if it was her calling since he walked out on the deck to talk.

I noticed that H had looked at what I bought him.....didn't touch the card. My silver tounge couldn't stay in my mouth and I said.....so you looked at the clothes but didn't open the card? He walked back in the bedroom, tried on the clothes & opened the card. After he read it, he sat it up on our dresser & walked over and gave me what I felt was a kiss out of obligation......no thank you, no I love you too. He might as well have just punched me in the gut. Didn't feel good at all.

I told H that I was going to bed. He asked why. I just said...I'm just kind of tired. I wanted to say....WHY---Gee, maybe because you gave me such an incredible weekend and then such a dissapointing day today...you were just on the phone with OW and you've just made me completely mentally & physically exhausted....how about that??? Obviously, I kept that part to myself. I just gave him a kiss & said....honey, thank you for the weekend. It was really nice to say the least.

I was running a little late this morning, but much to H's surprise I made his & D3's lunches, got D3 ready for daycare, got her to take her medicine & got ready myself.....wearing a rather low cut shirt. I gave D3 a hug & kiss goodbye, walked straight up to H, kissed him and said...I'll see you guys later.....love you guys.

Well, my H tells me that I need to be more assertive, take charge, be that more confident woman. I tried to start my week off by feeling good about how I looked this morning. Am I still bummed....yes, extremely. Will I do my best to have a great day....YES.

I'll check in later.

SueS