Fate has an evil and ironic way with me . . .

[Dr.mom]

So, lat week I am obsessing. I have gone dark and gone on with my life. Part of me is still hiding in the corners, waiting to see what happens in mid-September, when my "three month grace period" comes to a close. Waiting to see what H will do as far along as going back to push for divorce.

SO, I am doing a good job, totally detached, and then start freaking out over the upcoming birthday and 10 year wedding anniversary. I wanted to stay dark and make him seek me out, either for a divorce, or something else.

Kinda agonizing over whether I should break down and come out of the dark to send a card for his B-day. Recognize the anniversary, and wondering how this all might affect his decision.

Well, I have been hanging out with a new friend (yes, of the male persuasion) and we decide to take our dogs out for a romp. The two doggies have met before and get along fine. Out of the blue, his lab attacks my beagle, ripping her to shreds. I have to get her to the ER. All my other small animal-vet friends are out of town, or can't get me into their clinic. Knowing this will probably cost about $1500 if I just go to the local puppy ER, I had to break down and take her to my husbands' clinic (he is a veterinary surgeon)on the other side of town.

I call his cell, leave a VM about our beagle. He actually calls me back. Very detached and business-like, he says to bring her right in.

Never even comes out to see me. The techs stop me at the door and take my dog. I am not even allowed to come back to the clinic area to help/watch. I am treated like a stranger and client by every staff member in the hospital. I just break down and start crying, stand there in the waiting room. No one does anything.
My dog is dying and my husband does not even come out to see me.

Get a phone call from H later in the day. I can't even pick it up. He leaves word that she is fine. He'll keep her over the weekend and I can pick her up whenever. He is talking to me in the childish sing-sing voice I have heard him use on the phone with clients for 14 years. I hate it.

He has learned to detach way better than I.

SO, here I am, home from my weekend whitewater rafting trip, and needed to pick up said beagle. I'm not even going to shower to go over to the clinic. I know he won't bring her out to me.

SO much for DB. SO much for going dark and making him contact me. Now the contact is out there, I have to acknowledge the B-day/anniversary.

Sigh!