I have (had) many comments to make, but between being in Peru for almost a month, then the mojave desert, then the Tehacipi mountains, and no passing go in between, They always come long after everyone moved on to new subjects. Its cool seing the development syncronicity though.
That and being as your mostly bunny right now, regardless of what suit you have on, and Im mostly wolf, despite what women want to believe, Ill just inadvertantly eat you..( when I try to put the bunny back in its cage, I just make the bunny cry. and bleed. ALOT. )youll take my observations to be criticisms, and so I wont even touch your 20/30 hindsight comments about your M, that and this is not a dating board and very little in my life can be easily related to marriage, so Its better to be quiet then let my fingers talk without my permission.
for example bf -our friend Mojo, used to talk about caring about just the sex, but recently seems to have changed her mind. Im very happy for her.
mojo-Well, I think that's kind of an unfair characterization of me but I know you are just trying to help LQ. It's not like I joined this BB saying that all I wanted was "just sex" and now I've flip-flopped. When I joined this BB I was miserable because I felt like my 2bx's lack of sexual desire meant that he didn't love me
I was talking about your change from when your seperation first started up to now. not the whole trip. It was not a dig or a characterization of you as a whole person. It is normal, it is a true statement, and I am happy for your current state.
I slipped back a bit into the MegaMojo mindset out in the dating world but that is just a self-protective reaction due to my lack of empathy for the male tendency towards "f*ck and flee." I thought you wanted a wolf? If you were or wanted one F and F wouldnt bother you. I think you want a cuddly bear.
I havent F and F since I was a 21. Im not afraid of them misinterprating my intentions, and as long as I am honest, Im not responsible for their choices. However they do it to me quite often. Its pretty comical. There was this delicious Jewish Princess lawyer, (she thought she was a tigress, but she was really kitten *mew* ) who upon waking and walking into my office where I was catching up the next morning, looked around and stated accusingly... 'Your not a bartender.' Im not? *headscratch* I could swear I pour alcohol behind a bar regularly....*lightbulb* No not at the moment, I guess, so youll have to refill your own coffee. never saw someone dash out so fast... interesting. too bad, delicious. or the ones who want to snuggle, I let em, but dont cuddle back, and then they try to slip out without waking me. (I let em.)
My relationship with NG is doomed for obvious reasons you keep saying this, but to me its not obvious why...
In my opinion, the two hardest things to empathize with are the masculine desire to recharge in the cave or go to the cave when wounded and the masculine desire to "f*ck and flee."
What is so hard to comprehend about wanting to be left alone? I even say it. Let me Be. Its not code for, get me out of my mood. Its not code for, I dont like you, go away. It means Let me Be. You take care of you, like you did when you were single, Im taking care of me right now.
You certainly dont want to prop him up... The NEED, for recharging in the cave directly conflicts with her NEED to feel/know her emotional relevance. Crashing insecurities. She wants her bunny petted and he just wants peace and time to think. speaking for myself at least.
Have you been subjected to F and F? You havent related it here. You mentioned I need to gain empathy for the poor monkey girls. I have. I dont do monkey anymore. Its all wolf. The 6 of the last 11 consorts have been lesbians or lesbian lookalikes. baggy jeans, wife beater, weird hair, mens wallets, baseball hats. They dont look immediately feminine but its amazing what they are/trying to hide. It consists of me going to the grocery store, drug store, etc and exchanging looks.Im not sure whats going on with that yet, maybe its the dichotomy of my longish hair and craggy face. Im more Ichabod Crane, less Clark Gable. Im too strait laced to be smuggling guns thru naval blockades... guns scare me...they kill people... Maybe I have a feminine vibe. or because my persona is so hard? shrug. the other 5 were pros. bartenders/cosmo girls, just random meeting on the way to the car or in a parking lot.
BTW, Laurence Fishburne...Samuel L Jackson... they all look the same too me... Yep I said that... used to say that to x about her and her cousins... *grumpy face* LOL.
the female "just sex" drive is mostly masochistic in nature so why do you keep claiming to look for just a wolf. First, I sometimes act more monkey than I really am just because I can't or won't allow the bunny to be vulnerable. A wolf doesnt want a monkey. They cling to your scruff and chatter, as you try to roam your range, hunting. If you want a wolf, you need to be a wolf, a tigress, or a shark. I dont think NG is a wolf. But you know this. what in the heck I'm going to do in my dating life now that I've given up on finding a wolf. Why do you want just a wolf? I dont think you want a wolf, or you could have the 23 y.o, or AFF. I should gain more empathy for the male desire to see some other animals in play during sex or within a relationship because it is tied to a clear vulnerability to want to be wanted for more than the "wolf." I dont know what to say. I want what I want and I want it now, will definitely conflict with the ability to do the above. Are you saying women dont want to have to deal with the other aspects of a man? That would be helpful to know.
I dont have a problem with it now, probably why I act monkey here, and with my nephews, the three stooges. I did pretty good not needing it or allowing it to happen for the first 7 years, I could probably control it indefinitely now.
This simple gesture caused me to psychologically release the last of my sexual scarcity issues. Thats awesome. Im jealous. Everything in my life reinforces my R leap frog issue. If thats the reality, there is no better then my cheating x, so I should have sucked it up and done what works again. Ill never trust anyone again, (feel in love) I may as well not trust what I was allready addicted too.
There is something about wanting to trust the mother of my children I probably will have to get over also in addition to the love is a choice desire.... A POP stating her role as fetal support system only would probably help with that. Ive been researching surrogate mother laws. If I could understand that a woman just wants to have kids, as opposed to my desire to have kids only occurs with a certain woman.....sap, I should just be knocking everyone up, as is my purpose. oh yeah.... Remember that women are turned on by excitement too so keep a little wolf mixed in with your Alpha dog. It's a dance not a march. Personally I see marriage as a march. If your lucky you get to dance every now and then. Nobody ever needed to say vows to feel like dancin, dancin, dancin... shes a dancin machine...
My current gripe is that even men who totally understand that you have to "spank the monkey" find it hard to empathize with this aspect of the female drive.
?? NG gets a 4.5... why the gripe? I have no problem empathizing with it, I love spanking the monkey (Ill choose hers over mine every time..)but when it comes down to the wire, it would be nice to have a woman who made a choice. not a monkey, or a lioness, or a bunny or a mare. D is so wasteful. All that waste just ....blech... If she wants an animal when it comes down to the wire, well, that just entitles me to be an animal whenever I want too. Doesnt it?
I have a useful question. Since your nearly divorced now and have joined me in having all the answers with your 20/30 hindsight
(we should write a book)
-How do you recommend a woman break her fusion while maintaining her M?
)youll take my observations to be criticisms, and so I wont even touch your 20/30 hindsight comments about your M, that and this is not a dating board and very little in my life can be easily related to marriage, so Its better to be quiet then let my fingers talk without my permission. 
