Hey J, just got caught up and it sounds like you have been quite the busy camper lately.
One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is how our spouses begin to react when we are coming from a place of no longer needing them for our own validation. It luminates off of you in your conversations that you are now a confident and strong woman who can be just fine without your husband.
The thing is it is almost like the old rope a dope tactic in boxing, only you didnt do it on purpose. From the beginning you took a barrage of pain, absorbed all of his blows and just kept on fighting back in defense of yourself. Now you have regained control of your life and suddenly you are the one throwing the jabs, using fancy footwork, and prancing around the ring so much more confident.
As you progress with this, I imagine he will be back on his heals quite a bit. I think its important for you to be aware of this when dealing with him. It may help you when he gets angry and upset. You fell into it this time, but as you go on, you will do this less and less.
When he reacts in a negative fashion to you, try and remember to step back and see that you are not invested in him at this point so you dont have to fight him anymore. Instead it is his job to learn to speak to you in a loving and respectful fashion just as you are to him.
Now your favorite part of my posts, the male view point and where I see him at. He is off guard right now, having to face his own faults rather than be focused on yours. You are not giving him the reasons to be mad at you that he once had and that is affecting his ability to justify his actions. He is now trying to find new reasons, thus he tries to start a argument and egg you on to giving him more ammunition.
Its the same with him not telling you why he lied about Sunday. He wants you to push him to tell you so later he can tell you how you push to hard and nag him into telling you things. It's all about reloading his arsenal, as a man, we generally realize that arguing with a woman is a daunting task because women are detail oriented. Men need to reload ammo, women just have ammo because they remember details.
His line about never wanting a divorce, bullshit line...... He probably as thought about it, but doesnt want it for his own goofy reasons whether it be financial, family, or reputation. There is an alternative reason to the right reason to not want a divorce. If he didnt want one because he wants y'all to work out, he'd be doing a hell of a lot better job trying to "fix" your marriage. Again, in my opinion this was a line meant to intice you into a brief argument.
Your doing great J, stay strong and remember, you are in charge. You don't need him to "complete" you, you are an individual on your own and can be happy and successful without him in your life.
