Now I've done it

[nephartiti]

A weed ago, I e-mailed him (all busisness) with a formal financial proposal. I asked him to respond via e-mail. He has not, but I requested that he take over responsibility of his cell phone on our joint account, get his own checking acct, put the minivan (which he has taken leaving my to stuff our 3 kids in our 98 Saturn w/no A/C and only 2 working windows) in his name (requiring him to apply for a loan), and cut me a check every month. I made it very clear that I felt that he deserved his privacy along with his freedom, and that I did not want to see who he was talking to or where he was spending his money.

He responded by trying to cancel his phone, leaving me with a $200.00 bill and no way to contact him. He has not responded to the rest. He said he left the check to go direct deposit, however it is not there as of yet and should be. I'm hoping there is just a delay b/c of the holiday. The deadline I proposed for a check was the 10th of every month. So I guess I can't freak out til then. I just wish he would be man enough to be straight with me and at least take care of business! He still uses the acct blatantly so I see where he is-restaurants, new cell phone + accessories. I think it's his way of rubbing everything in my face. If I can't get him to co-operate, I feel I have to make the choice not to take the bait.

If the check isn't there by 9:00 AM, it isn't coming. If he undermines me like that, I'm closing the acct so he can't take what's left of the $300.00. I can't believe this. Our savings has been completely depleted in 2 months time. With his current selfishness, I'm afraid he's going to try to justify not giving me any $ with the excuse that he has to get his own place. There goes my perfect credit with my savings. Darn it! Why does he have to be sooooo stupid! Why can't he just wake up and see how rediculous this all is? Idiot! Everything we've worked for and built, down the toilet in seconds flat! It's a good thing he hasn't called b/c I'm ready to let him have it!

He hasn't admitted there is OW. Actually, he adamantly denies it. Whatever. Sounds like we're in the same boat on this one, TOH. Keep up the good work on staying dark. Sounds like it's doing something. Just remember to stay upbeat and not react negatively to his anger.

MK, may I ask wherebouts in CA you are located? I'm in Downey (LA County). The family bed did get a little tricky with 2 nursing babies in there. I sleep with one on each side. Makes romance a little tricky, but I felt we managed ok. Actually, sex was non-existant from about half way through my last pregnancy til I started realizing something was wrong. He came home very late every day, and, when he did, he would just go to bed. Then I tried to re-connect. He wouldn't talk or spend time with me, so I tried sex. Seemed to work at first. Then he was just irritated with me on that too. He would still do it, but it became very selfish and cold. This hurt a lot. Still does. I tried to kiss him once, and he literally pulled away and wiped his mouth with disgust. All this is timed perfectly with the phone conversations with OW on the phone bill. Go figure.

When I think of everything that has come from this man in the last 2 months, I question why I still want to make it work. I know it's mostly for my kids and I hang on to what I know we had, the man I knew him to be. However, he is not that man now. This man is an imposter, and I don't know if I want him around my kids. Choice isn't mine, though. He's gone AWOL and he's not around his kids anyway.