Boundary: I will not live in a sexless/affectionless marriage.

But you did.
So why are you saying that? Untill your ready to back it up, it looks like posturing.

So what is the W's role in this ongoing wooing game? Keeping herself good looking and being fun to be around and interested in the man? Strutting her stuff on occasion to catch the man's eye? Or is the man supposed to just keep wooing no matter what, or the woman finds someone else?

why are you asking hap about what you want to receive. Thats for you to decide.

I love chasing, I love catching. I believe you on the former, and would ask how the latter is working out for you, but youve allready said

I hate never catching and being told it is all my fault because I'm not chasing hard enough, or I'm chasing too hard, or I said something the wrong way two days ago, or I'm acting too childlike, or ...
You dont chase someone to surrender. apparently your asking your W what you want to receive also. If you dont know, how is she going too?

I guess my trouble is I'm just not sure which way to go so I end up doing nothing. Yep thats a problem. Your also still trying to use tactics instead of defining what you require. I guess fearless was right about mean using these tactics. Fortunately your wife and women in general are not stupid.

I need a little "Mystery" on my shoulder. (wink wink nudge nudge)
You should call him and tell him then. I find this insulting. wink wink nudge nudge what? I know these guys... not know of... know... and yet Ive never mentioned it, nor ever initiated any conversation about them, nor the fact Ive blown out or 'AMOGed' one of his associates, in front of a 'class' in Hawaii, during a random encounter, just because I detest his gynephobic, misogynistic former associate.
Dont ever group me in with those entertaining monkeys again, or Ill let you pay them for their opinions.

Im not at your beck and call, and Im not an actor who rehearses lines, and Ive never recommended seduction guru's as role models. I dont use false rapport because I detest liars and cheaters, and have real boundaries and know who I am and what I want.

ask you self if you want to put on an act and be loved for that or do you want to be free to reveal yourself and be loved for that.
Well said Martelo.
Standing naked in the face of fear. Thats a real man and something Im still working on.

Me: Hey pretty lady, come on over here with me on the couch and let's cuddle for awhile. Supplicating.
Her: I don't want to, we always fall asleep when we cuddle on the couch and then I can't go to sleep later.
Me: I'll bet I can get you tired enough to go to sleep later. You have an agenda, and your not listening to what she said.
Her: (exasperated sigh and shake of head, turns back to computer)
Me: (moves over to the easy chair), there, come on over, my lap is getting anxious waiting for you (I know, not the best lines in the world, but what the hey) Why are you using lines on your W? Still supplicating, pressing your agenda and not interested in what she she was trying to tell you.


Thats not a boundary. Thats chasing. Would you prefer if she were attracted to seduction artists? I sure wouldnt. I prefer someone with a little more discernment.
you should read my post to AC. When I give ex. Im not providing lines, Im trying to offer the guy a little emotional jog to see if that is how he feels about the sitch. Men are forced to suppress their emotions so much they have a hard time identifying them. Suppress does not = in control of. The last time you suppressed you emotions it exploded into 2 affairs. I would think you would be done with that.

Let me know when you are done trying to make me perform for you.