muddled and angry: Puddle's sencond thread

[Heimlich]

If you're still invested in the M, it's not all his fault.

Hmmmm, this made sense earlier, but damned if I can recall what I was thinking. I blame the 16 ounces of mead I had at 2 this afternoon

One thought on the fear, I remember from DR one of the ideas is to mentally create the worst outcome you can imagine. Given your imagination, I'm guessing you can create a couple of pretty grim possible futures. After you do that, it can give you a sense of peace. That helped me a little. I wish I could say I got over the fear beforehand, but, really, I was acting out of fear all summer (to some extent, since last October). What really got me past my fear was walking out of the final D mediation apointment. After that, the D (or at least separation) became real -- the thought became "This is really going to happen." At that point, I started dealing with a reality, not something that was going to happen in the future. A little scary, but by becoming a situation that I had to deal with, most of the fear melted away over the next day or two. Honestly, it's not as scary as I thought it would be.

You can embrace or fight change. I'm trying to embrace it and make the changes as positive as I can.

When I settle in, I'm going to read your posts through again. Seriously, your H really does baffle me. What I mean by "acting right" is just that -- acting like he's got some responsibilities to deal with, not like he can just do what feels good for him and everything is just going to work out. Realizing that, even if he does end up hurting you and his family, that he also needs to be as fair as possible to you and his children. That's kind of what I mean.

BD