Almost a WAW

[GoodGuy]

I'm looking for answers tonight Sandi, and I can't seem to find them. My W called tonight and I wanted so bad to answer the phone, but I let my S get it. Since I spoke to her for a while this morning, I figured I better not push it.

I miss hugging her, we did that quite a bit. I miss her calling me "honey", I miss a lot of things about her.
I don't know if she is going through a MLC, I really don't think so. But I know she was very angry with me.
She said some things that hit me pretty hard before she left.
I only called her a name once through all of this, about a month before she left.

My friends want to hook me up with someone, in fact my buddies wife told me Saturday night that she would feel great if she could be the one that introduces me to my next girlfriend!
My best friend asked me how long do I plan on waiting, and they look at me in disbelief when I tell them would take her back. They tell me she's left twice now, why would you want her back?

I know I'll be conncected to her forever because of our S. But I'm not looking forward to more time and holidays w/o her. We have already gone through Valentines day, our 14th anniversary, both our birthdays, and both the boys birthdays are coming up next month.

I will continue DBing, I will give her time and space, I won't talk about the R or our M. I will be her friend. But she never asks me to help her, I offered to change the oil on her car, but she refused.

She is about to lose her job, she works under the table taking care of a 90 year old lady, and the lady is going into a nursing home. She has always been there for my S when he got home from school, she wants to continue doing that, but I'm not sure she can find a job with those hours and still make ends meet, unless she wants to burn through the proceeds from me refinancing the house and our divided assets, she's got quite a few bucks in the bank from that.

I guess I can't worry about that. It's my job to take care of her, and I'm failing miserably at it.

Gotta go for now, talk to you later.