I do not want to deflect my own accountability. We have 2 small children and I was not providing for the family. I have had issues for years with my self-confidence and low self-esteem. This causes me to live in fear but that should not stop me from making sure we have food on the table. I blew it and I have to live with the consequences.
That's great that you take some of the responsibility. But she is equally responsible. Your W sounds a lot like my W. I have also struggled with self-confidence issues. And my W "needs" someone who is more secure with themselves. It is complete BS. It would be like me saying I need someone who can play a good third base. They are making excuses to justify leaving. And they only find the "courage" once they've found another guy to latch on to.
So what if we have confidence issues? A spouse is supposed to be there for you, no matter what. In fact, that's when you should support your spouse the most - when they need it. And if their commitment to us is this shallow now, can you imagine if we had some sort of illness or disease? Would they bolt then too? They probably wouldn't, because that would be perceived as cold and heartless. But it's okay to leave because your spouse is insecure? This is why I say it isn't your fault. Not because you didn't play a role, but because she had an opportunity to share the journey with you and help you through it and decided to bail. That is very selfish and immature.
M:32 W:26 Kids: None Cats: 2 Together: 9 years Married: May 2005 Bomb: September 2006 Sep: November 2006
