Hi I've been away on holiday and not kept up with my thread. Just got through reading the Radical Honesty book by Brad Blanton. Excellent book.
You're right that a man who believes himself to be in a committed R would not be able to process what the woman is doing by strutting her stuff in a sexually available way. What the woman wants is for the man to woo her again. I believe many men operate in hunter mode. They go out and hunt, they make a kill and they feel they have done the job; they have food in the pantry. Meaning they woo and marry a woman and feel like their work is done and they have sex available when needed. Cemar is a prime case of this. The woman does not feel this way, the woman wants the wooing game to continue - it makes her horny. Feeling that she is dead meat on the shelf does not. I believe many women are LD because they want the H to play the wooing game again. The HD woman's mind will operate in a different way and she will openly signal availability to others to try to tell her man that if he wants to keep her he'd better keep wooing her. In other words that the game he thought he'd won is still on.
If I recall your X started to throw herself at other men and you didn't respond. What she was trying to do was show that she hadn't been caught and killed and she wanted you to re-engage with the chase. But you already knew that. All women whether LD or HD want the chase to continue, we never want to feel like we have been caught for good and all.
Those lice ridden pirates start to look more interesting when you've been left for dead on the shelf by a pen-pushing landlubber.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
