This is my first time to post and I feel the same way. This is all very new to me and I'm scared that I've already done irreversable damage to my marriage. I don't even know if I knew how much my H meant to me until this entire ordeal begain. I found out that he was having feelings for someone else during a move from our home of all our lives to a new state,job, and life away from all support. I found out the frist night of our move that. OP called and he got out of our bed to go talk to her, that was in May of 07 and since then I've spied on him and done everything in my power to make him see that what he is doing is not benifical to our family. We have been together for 14 years starting to date in high school and getting married the year after graduation with a 10month old daughter. We have had problems all through the marriage, but I was the one with the complaints,he was always the one wanting to make it work when I was ready to throw in the towel. He says that now that the shoe is on the other foot it doesn't feel to nice and he's right. The only thing that has changed for us is that since all of this has happened we've opened up so much more to eachother thatn ever before. I've had to take a long look at some of the things that I've done and not expect him to do all the changing and I'm ready to do that. We are now living 400+ miles apart and have seen eachother twice. He talks to me on the phone, email, text,etc. I also know that he talks to the OP as much or more (she also live 400+ miles from me because she lives where I live). I'm just in the process of reading the book and tried some of the tech while he was here for the weekend, but I think I made it worse, because when he wanted to be intament I gave in like I always do. Please some one help me I don't know where to draw the line on that. He still tells me that he loves me and that he just doesn't know what he wants. He knows he can't have his cake and eat it too, but like different things about me and the OP. What do I do? I've backed off, stopped the quizzing, and am just trying to be supportive of the space between us, is this right, wrong, what? If anyone could give me some help that would be great.
