Newcomer in Pain

[GainingStrength]

J - I think my last reply to you was lost in cyberspace. Give me a hint where you are. Alaska?

As for me, I'm in a lot of pain today. Like Nikki, I'm ridin' the old rollercoaster. My S and I have been moving out of the house and into an apartment this Labor Day weekend. It's been really painful. Just now walked into our old bedroom to move some furniture, and guess who W is talking to on the phone, OM of course. She's picking him up at the airport later today. Flying back from seeing his family in San Antonio. She was eager to see him and getting all dolled up.

Funny, just two days ago, I wrote this in my journal:

"M said she missed talking to me. I told her me too, but "that's up to you". She also said: 'Maybe I'm too much woman for you. I just suck all the air out of the room. I'm just a pain in the ass'. I told her yes, she was a pain the ass, but she was definitely not too much woman for me and not to say that again. She said ok. She also said she felt great most of the time, but bad for the kids and all the pain this is causing [no sh*t]. She said she cried herself to sleep last night..."

And now today and the bungie cord snapping her back to the OM. Last night the S and I slept in the apt. for the first time. We came here to the house early to get more stuff. She was already up and we talked. She grabbed my hand and said she was really glad we were talking again, and that we had to get otgether at least once a week so she wouldn't miss me so much. She also said we needed to be all together on Christmas morning, just the four of us (W, S, D, and I). I said what about [OM]?" "Oh, he can come by later." Then, she talked about the new house she was going to buy with OM. Wow! Shows once again how she is able to send me back onto that rollercoaster from hell.

J (or anyone), give me some words of comfort. I'm really low right now.

Larry