I think you are right telling him what you did. But now you have to stick to your guns and do not let him walk all over you.

In My OP he is having his cake and eating it too. He knows that you will put up with his crap.

You are now divorced and you don't owe him anything except to keep him informed of the child. You are not trying to control him you are making choices for you. You told him he could do what he wants,just not with you and that is not controlling him That is what you said, self preservation for you.

It is now up to him, GO dark except for info that absolutely Has to be talked about and leave thee rest to Him.

JAK

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez