Now I've done it

[theotherhalf]

This would all be SOOO much easier if H's would be straight up with us. Tell us what is going on with them. Be honest from the get go.

But we all know it doesnt' happen that way. The lying about OW is what has drove me so crazy through all this. I too was out there driving around trying to catch them at all hours of the night. Driving down the interstate crying my fool head off because I knew he was with her and I couldn't find them.

I so believed and still do that if I could catch them than it would take away the excitement of the R they have and the game would be over. That them maybe H would have to decide what he's going to do. That maybe with the excitement over he'd decide to end their R.

I gave up. Had to for my sanity and for my girls. I still check with other people to see where he's at or if he was home last night. Try not to but still happens. Just makes me miserable. My mind runs rampant thinking of them together. I am trying so hard to just get him out of my head. As far as he knows, i've gone "dark". Don't call him cept for necessities. Don't go to see him. When he's around I just am pleasant but don't start any conv or ask any questions. When he goes to leave I no longer ask him to stay longer or follow him to the door.

I guess bottom line is I'm trying to give H and our M up to God. And pray that He'll watch over us both. That He will help my H get through this terrible storm. That He will help us find each other again when the time is right. Time, it all comes down to time...