What if he's different? Will going dark work?

[theotherhalf]

Thanks for your reply RCR. Sorry it took so long for me to respond. Haven't been on this site for awhile. Spend most of my time on 40/60 and MidlifeCrisis.

You give good advice and I know that all you say is true. It's just so hard to "wrap my head around".

I now am doing just what you said. I don't initiate any contact. Except a couple times for kids or money. Otherwise to him I am forgetting he exsists. Of course for me I cannot get him out of my head. Wish that I could. He's there in my mind 24/7. I even woke of deep sleep last night cuz I heard him say "what's going on baby". I got up and looked out the window even. God! Why can't I get him out?

Going "dark" may seem to be working already. I went out Fri. night. He was here for farm stuff before I went. He seen me all dressed up. Could feel his attention and curiosity but he then couldn't look me in the eye. He didn't ask where I was going then. Left and was gone mabey 1/2 hr and he called my cell. D answered and he talked to her a little. Then me. He didn't come right out and ask me where I was going just hinted around. I made him come to point of why he called said maybe D could come stay with him. I said she's babysitting. Okay and that was it.

Through out the night he called my phone8-10 times. I answered first few. It was where are you, I wouldn't tell him, then it was accusations, then I stopped answering. He was out looking for me. When I got home I parked car where he couldn't see (I know, playing the game and shouldn't be). He showed up, calling my phone as he didn't know I was here. Then he seen me. Threw a complete fit (drunk) trying to get in the house. I ended up calling the police. He left before they got there.

Next day he showed up in drive about noon. Called my cell and asked me to come out. I went. His first words were I'm really sorry and that was really stupid of me.He said he didn't know why he got so mad. I asked if just maybe because he still cares. He said no, well of course I care but that wasn't it. I let it go at that.

So I got his attention. But. Was it because he cares, or was it drunken control, or was it because OW was out of town and he didn't have her to run to to cover up his feelings for me, who knows...

I really hope that it was all because he is remembering how much I mean to him and that maybe just maybe he is questioning his decision...