Survey

[MissH]

Virginia, Lissie, and Cinders, Angelica, thank you so much!

I was thinking as I was going to bed last night about what is being said to me here. I think after a year of this I finally get it.

But you know what? So what it took me a year. This is my journey and it will take me as long as I need it too.

I realize that people can tell you to 'let go' but until you are really ready, you won't be able to do that. It's not something you can force.

I was also thinking last night about Virginia's words and finally realized what other people have been telling me. I HAVE gotten a lot stronger this past year.

I no longer let every word my H says to me affect me. I don't take it literally anymore. I don't cry over his nasty words. Even when he told me last week that I was always ugly, lazy and fat I didn't cry. It just made me realize what a sick man he really is.

Last night I was able to look into the mirror and actually like what I saw.

I don't know if he could do the same, but you know what? Who cares? That's his problem, not mine.

I am now starting to focus on life without my H. I am going to make plans without him included in them. If our paths ever decide to cross again and we both want to be together again, so be it. But if we don't, so be it too.

I am hoping that the courts will let me move down by my parents in NJ. I really like it down here. S6 does too. He asked me yesterday, "mom, can we move down here, I really like it". I said to him "maybe we can one day honey. You won't be as close by to your Daddy but you will still be able to see him a lot. We will also miss our old friends but we can make lot of new ones".

S6 said "yeah, I already made tons already". I had taken them to the park and they both had tons of fun with the other little boys there.

I am ready to move on, but like Snodderly tells me all the time, I don't need to slam the door on my H, I will just keep it slightly ajar.