What is reasonable and what is not?

[Startingover2]

I posted a few weeks back about my sitch and now can't find it.

Basically, my exh and I are divorced but still maintained an intimate relationship. I did it in hopes of reconciling and he was going wild, dating other women, hitting bars and bascially acting like a spoiled frat boy. He always said he loved me and made a mistake but never took steps to correct it.

Now, I am 12 weeks pregnant. He took this as a sign of us reconciling and the best thing. He still lives in his own home but comes here when he feels like it. He is very into this child and wants us to go slow. Fine with me.

The problem is he is still maintaing a 'friendship' with this OW. He said they are just friends but I know she still wants more and I think he is still attached. He told me 2 weeks ago that he told her no more contact as he was trying to make this work with us. Well this weekend I found that they are still in contact and rather personal. He sent her a text message asking if she had her kids and that he wanted to see her. I flipped out. I didn't reveal how I knew they were still talking, but I told him I did. He didn't see a problem with talking with her as we have no commitment yet. He tells me he loves me, has sex with me, comes around and says we are going slow, but yet we have no commitment?

I told him I was no longer going to live under those circumstances and if he wanted to live that way I will keep him informed of the details of this child and pregnancy and I wanted to be no part of this anymore. Its fine if he wants OW and other women but I don't have to stand here and just take it and let him come and go as he pleases.He cannot have his cake and eat it too. He told me yesterday he would (once again) stop his friendship with OW. But he has said that before. How do I know its not another lie?

My question is am I being reasonable? He thinks I am trying to control him with this child. I don't feel that. It's more self preservation. If he wants to still go out every weekend and still have contact with OW then I don't want to be around him and be devastated over and over.

What do you all think?