CVA - Thread #3

[Gone Dancin']

It's definitely a nice break sometimes, ain't it! A little good-hearted, harmless banter to escape the sad reality that we are all living.

Dang it -- think I just killed the mood.

GD

[waw1978]

Hey CVA

Keep up the good work. Sounds like you are hitting a new stride with detaching.

Oddly enough, as a WAW I wonder when I need to finish the "detaching" and stop hoping that H "gets it". Different kind of detaching I guess. I just feel continously hurt that he isn't catching on and I getting more hurt by this rather than less.

[Heimlich]

WAW,

I'd suggest that that's the same question all of us LBS's ask as well, you're just approaching it from a different angle. You do have one advantage in that both you and your H want to stay married (just that your H is still a little too effing dense). You're still DBing, just from a different angle.

Just a thought, but are you doing family night once a week or every other week with H and D?

BD

[waw1978]

Hey H

yes we are still getting at least 1 family day together every other week or on occasion once a week.

[Not Much Left]

WAW
He sees what you are doing, just wont admit it yet.

[alk24]

It's definitely a nice break sometimes, ain't it! A little good-hearted, harmless banter to escape the sad reality that we are all living.

You are so right.

[Handful of Rain]

Hey CVA, I'm sorry I forgot to email you, but I will tonight, would like to talk with you sometime this weekend, if you're not busy. Take care.

[Not Much Left]

Thought I would post a thought from last couple of days.

W was out w/ D yesterday and called "just to check in" w/ me cuz I was with the boys and she knew they had been a handful for last couple of days.

I was pretty short tempered last 2 days, i think because I have been a bit under the weather but no excuse.

She has asked me a few times "what is wrong" and I have had to change my face as I know my displeasure with whatver the situation has been is showing on my face. At least its not coming out of my mouth like in the past.

Last night, I had a bit of an internal meltdown. Poor CVA syndrome. I clean, fix things, buy things to make life easier / better for W and nothing, no thanks. OK so my need for Positive Affirmation not being met, so what is new? Anyway, ticked me off when after a weekend filled with getting some things working, specifically our Vonage phones (bigger deal than it sounds!), W says, "is this light switch not working either?"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Here are the keys to a lovely one bedromm apt that you will notice there are absolutely no problems that a handiman cannot take care of!!!

OK, got that off my chest, whew!

Other than that, pretty good dynamic going on.

C

[bar]

Surely you've done perusing that map?

[Not Much Left]

For those interested....

Spent yesterday kind of wallowing in my own self pity.

Not so much pity I guess, more like pretty pissed. Just tired of bending over backward to make life run as smoothly as possible around the house.

See post above, no gratitude coming my direction, AT ALL!

I thought this was going to change, not sure why I thought that.

So revelation time. Had the thought...you know, the serious, I dont know if I want to do this thought, cross my mind several times this weekend.

I am just so sick of limbo it is getting really irritating. We act like a married couple / family till I leave at night. WTF.

What I am about to say is not obsessing, trust me. I do not think about this 24/7 as I did before but...is she still testing me? my moods, my temper, my anger, whatever?

She still literally will walk around me or whatever when I get close then at night its backrub time??? Again, WTF?

Is she afraid if she makes one freakin move toward me I will think the whole thing is fixed, I actually think that is true?

WAW's out there, ya think?

An embarassing and rhetorical question, how long? As Nomo stated, I literally had the same thought, the days are falling off the calendar. Is she just scheming to make her look better later? Already knows what she wants and playing me for the fool? I am no fool and like WAW78, I do not want to be anything less than #1.

Need a Red Bull of sorts ego boost, any takers?

Listening to Nickelback's "Rock Star" at the gym, sometimes I just want to fly out to LA and live the wild life for a few days and forget all this. Get a house on MTV Cribs, buy a Maserati or Aston Martin and call it a day.

OK back to reality, yes I could do that stuff, but I have 4 beautiful kids who need their Dad and their Dad needs them. The M is up to W's ever so fleeting mindset.

CVA out (its football season, so a Jim Rome sign off is appropriate!)