Now, the reason I made that post in the first place is not cut Corri down, but to put forth a possible explanation for what she was feeling. I did not get any sense of her frustration with GGB. If it was there I missed it. I did get a lot of frustration toward me. I think that is fairly easy to see. But I also know Corri is quite advanced in checking her emotional involvement and reactivity. So I was confused as to why she seemed to get getting so riled up. I was not getting upset at her comments at all.
But I did tell you why... you just didn't believe me, I guess. What you did, I mean, I thank you for your concern and all... but it is what I think blackfoot has called 'logicalling' feelings. It doesn't really work.
But just to clarify, I am not seeking validation, nor am I avoiding invalidation. (Pursuing pleasure/avoiding pain).
Validation is something I give away (and the receiver gets to take it anyway they want). It is not what I seek from another... to do so puts control/responsibility for me in someone else's hands.
Invalidating others is something I seek to avoid doing myself. If I do it, it's usually because I've indulged a negative emotion and do or say something before I've allowed the emotion to work all the way through.
If I am validated, it feels good. If I am invalidated, it feels bad. How I act or respond, regardless of how I feel about either, is where my personal power/control resides. This is how I steer my own ship.
For me and what we have been talking about, it is best to let whatever emotion occurs, to process through. If you don't, the emotion is steering the ship, not my CHOICE.
You are a difficult person to have a conversation with at times, but I know that. But that in no way had to do with what I posted. And no, I did not let my frustration with GGB show... because I wasn't frustrated with HIM... I was sad --> then anxious --> then self-blaming --> then frustrated --> THEN I indulged my little pity party... and that was all about me.
I thought your analysis of my recent posts was interesting. And probably a good deal of them were with you... but for you to assume that I am upping my posts to get my validation 'fix' is off, and actually contradicts exactly what I've been talking about. I'd be a validation 'junkie.' And whoever was 'supplying' that validation would have one heck of a lot of power over me... ewh. BTDT. No thanks.
I don't know why I care so much. I just do. And now that I am aware of it, I need to keep it even higher in my awareness... understand that I REALLY need to slow down when I start getting more concerned about outcomes.
So... GGB, if you are out there... keep your focus on you and your emotions... your actions and reactions... moving that focus to 'outcomes' is self-defeating. I just went through it... and I hope you can see it.
