Mrs - you are changing. We all do: I think one of the debates is how much we try and'force' the process. I have both a therapist, and a spiritual director [within the Christian Church] They both see life as a journey. There is a great early 20th century theologian called Charles Raven who wrote some amazing things Here are two
'Most people have, at some time or another, to stand alone and to suffer, and their final shape is determined by their response to their probation: they emerge either the slaves of circumstances or in some sense the captain of their soul' He also wrote
'I do not want to approach the subject in any morbid or sentimental mood, but it is my full conviction that until men and women individually have been into hell they arent mature'
While we should not wallow in misery, we all need to make this journey fully and in our own time. If we try and rush it we too may have neglected a vital lesson.
I have learned that I can live alone, and like it. My h, who thought he didn't need people has discovered that he is much more dependent on others than his previous self image. I can see him growing up, away from me. With me I don't think he ever would, beecause I 'enabled' him. What a hard lesson, and what a necessary one.
I don't believe [and I have NO stats to quote] that starting, or even finishing divorce proceedings is any bar to getting back together in the future. In fact I can almost see that it can be drawing a line under the old r, and re-building a truly new one, based on choosing to be together. I agree that hope is what lies within us. This is not to say that it will happen, of course!
