For her coffee somehow symbolized the whole subservient to men thing. (Which I think should read "supportive of men"). It became a big deal in the early part of our R problems. The evil C even convinced her that coffee was bad. When she gave it up she had an incredible physical reaction. All of her muscles seized up and she was in incredible pain in a fetal position for a day or two.
Her reaction and whatever caused it, is not trivial.
A few weeks back I mentioned to her that maybe that reaction was not entirely the fault of caffeine withdrawals. Possibly that sunk in.
Maybe, maybe not, but nicely done. When you feel bad, do you ever blame something other then what it really is? You still know though.
Taking things slow is good. Dont be uneasy or demanding when you initiate affection. for ex. xue: [laying in bed, hands behind head.] W, why dont you come over her and snuggle with me. Im hot, your cold feet and hands will feel good. after she is snuggled, you can talk about the goofy things you did when you first got together, and the things you want to do.
