do you have an original thread here? I'll go check it out, although your signature says a lot. With all the years invested, I am loathe to advise anyone to give up and especially with so many positives in your sitch. I know, I know, it's HARD to see the positives when your life partner says crap about not knowing how he feels, makes choices that are blatantly NOT putting you or the M first, etc. But, he is still at home, he is not (apparently, from what I know so far of your sitch) lashing out with a lot of venom and in fact, says it IS HIM, and not you. Even says MLC stuff. That's a hell of a lot better than what the majority of us on this bb get to hear. Granted, I didn't have to deal with OW (as far as I know, and frankly, I'm not digging at this point b/c if there was an OW, she is in the past and I'm here now, etc etc) but I doubt it anyhow. So that's a huge monkey Not on my back and seems you aren't dealing with that either, so far. What IS your h doing to "fix" things?
I'll try to find your thread. In the meantime, you know the scoop about getting a life, and being "a woman only a fool would leave" etc. God knows I've posted it around here a bunch b/c it's what my DB coach told me a year ago (16 months to be exact) and I know it helped.
Like VC said, saying "I told you so" is a bad idea and sometimes not saying it is really hard. Point is, that these guys, and some WAW's too, have some weird internal puzzle that only they can solve. And it's as if we know the answers to the crossword and want them to hurry up and fill in the spaces with the obviously correct (obvious to us that is) answers....but this puzzle is THEIRS to complete and when we stand over their shoulders whispering the answers to them, they are NOT helped and our M's are not helped....we just have to back off and hope to God they figure it out. Likewise, I'm holding my breath as my h SEEMS to be finding that thngs are not perfect here. My need for specifics about income, accounts receivables, liability issues galore, etc. is not irrational. It' isn't about ME hating Alaska...even if it is partly true, I am right to be concerned. Frankly, it was H's insistence and his obsession with living here, which he has harbored for several years now, that caused all this havoc and almost ruined our M....now that I've joined him with d10 and things are not all peachy keen or as h said, (crazily and repeatedly) "a gold rush up there" I have to step back and shut up. (OMG talk about MLC...geez, it's like they have a text book with crazy chapters they pick and live out) ...but I still worry that he'll find some thread of hope to hang onto to stay here. I DO have one move left in me, to leave here. But not just to go pick up and go anywhere again....
I have changed. I no longer am willing to follow his career opportunity wherever it may take US.... We were miliitary and moved 8 times now....that's enough.
Back to you, have you gotten a session with a db coach? I had a mc, and also used him as an ic too. He helped a lot. But I also signed on with some DB sessions and although I really like my mc, if I had to pick only one thing or person to talk to or do, it'd be the DB coaching. I had Vernetta and 3 sessions ("package deal") with her cost a little bit less than 3 sessions with a therapist, in the LA area at least....check it out if you can. Take care, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
