Now I've done it

[nephartiti]

Thanks. I needed that.

I didn't call him today, and I did get a copy of DR today also.

I feel like I have to do the LRT b/c I have pushed him so far that he doesn't even ask to see his kids. He hasn't mentioned D yet, but I feel like, in his mind, our separation is completely permanent. After all, he signed a 2 year contract for a new cell phone the day after he left for the sole purpose of talking to his OW w/out me knowing. Yet he didn't make too much effort to hide it. He lies and denies but always leaves a definite trail to bait me. I think my biting just boosts his ego at the expense of my self respect and dignity. He blames me for everything and says he can't stand to look at me.

I feel like my only chance is to do a very definite 180 and cut all contact. We have very little contact right now, so he won't notice my GAL, even though I'm doing it anyway. The only thing I can do differently that he will notice is to stop bugging him and checking on everything he does.

The finances are scary, but I have decided that I am determined to survive that aspect no matter what.