"Going Dark" - 101

[theotherhalf]

I too am trying to go "dark". It started by going to H house one night and really laying my demands on him. Wanted the truth about OW, demanded respect, demanded H is not to be in our house unless I am home. Well, did not get my answers but H has only one key to house and not to dead bolts.

From there I stopped, stopped calling, stopping dropping in to see him. All contact unless absolutely necessary (kids or money). Bad thing in our stich is that we farm and he has to be around here some what do check cow,do hay, etc. But when he is here I stay in house. If he comes in I'm nice but short. When he leaves, I no longer follow or ask him to stay longer.

No contact first week and a half. Then H (for 1st time) come by to just talk. Good visit. Talked of work, kids, etc. mostly he talked, I listened. Then he led conversation to D. He had a plan of agreeing, and using same lawyer. For me to keep house and him the farm ground. I said wont work cuz I'd have to see him all the time. He said we can get along. And who knows maybe something become of it all again someday. I just listened and didn't say too much. After that he didn't stay too long then left.(No way am I going along with his little plan)

Again no contact for over a week or two. Went out Friday night with my brother and ended up with SIL's and niece. H called me at least 8-10 times. I answered first few calls. He wanted to know where I was. I didn't tell. Then it was stupid accusations and crap. I quit answering calls. He came out home to see if I was there. When I did get home I parked my car where he couldn't see it. (I know, playing in the game, shouldn't have) He came. Calling my phone as he didn't think I was here. He seen me and then went on to throw a major fit. (He was drunk) I ended up calling the police(1st time ever). He left before they got here. So nothing more happened.

Next day he showed up about noon in driveway. He called my cell, asked me to come out. I did, his first words were, I'm really sorry. That was really stupid of me and I'm sorry. I don't know why I got so mad.

I asked him if maybe it could be because he still cares. He said no that's not it. Yes he cares but no, not like that. That he really didn't know what came over him. I let it go. Did not push it any farther. I did say, he was just pissed cuz I wouldn't tell him where I was and quit answering my phone. Yea, he said, could be. He said I did nothing wrong, that I can do what ever I want etc... We had good visit otherwise but it was short.

Today, was here shortly to do hay. He seemed almost pissed at me. Wouldn't look me in eye. Very short. But that's okay. I really didn't have too much to say to him either.

I hope that the "dark" is working on him but then again, maybe just making it easier for him to be with OW, and forget about me and the girls. Maybe easing his guilt some. As far as his fit the other night, probably just a drunked control thing, maybe he really doesnt' care. Then again, maybe it turned his head back to me again if only for a night.