Trying to be positive - with hope

[cat03]

hon, you two are still getting over the shock of the A and its consecuences (do get the "not just friends" book, great healing tool)
Right now you are both on edge, scared, not knowing what will be next and prone to say things you dont' really mean (my H said so many things in anger one day that I truly thought we are done for)

Remember, there will be highs, but mostly lows on the way to recovery (at least at the begining, i just got over my own period of despair) and piecing and healing take a long long time.

Hugs, be patient and think very well before you say anything (no more ow references ok? my H told me once that the more I brought up ow stuff the more I refreshed her memory) Unless, that is, when it is time to talk about the A and if you both agree to have some questions answered. My C recommended that i should ask questions which will promote healing and to allocate a certain amount of time to that subject.

Be strong, this is a hard part of the journey, but you'll be fine)))))))))))))))))

[limbo]

Thanks Cat

Sometimes its just so hard to hang in....one day I want this more then the world and the next day I am done.
We are going to the retrouville weekend, so hopefully this will help us both!

[ediemarie]

Hey Limbo - I just caught up on your thread - this struck me:

I know it seems better, but I wonder if it really is or is he just waiting for something better.

I totally know how this feels. I think that Retro will give you an opportunity to express this in a way that he will hear it (and I am hoping the same for my sitch). In the meantime I have found that acting as if really makes things better. The thought that he is just waiting around can really color all of your conversations and actions - though acting as if is difficult it's the one thing that seems to help. I find that there is such a fine line between putting the crap where it belongs in the past and dealing with issues in the present - it's not an easy juggling act.

Hang in there! less than 2 weeks to Retrouvaille - yoowhooo!!!

[limbo]

I hope that the weekend does what its supposed to do! I just hope that we aren't pinning all hopes on this weekend to turn things around.
I guess in a way I am skeptical, this has been going on so long, and he keeps saying he wants it to work, and he wants to be with us, but time after time, he has returned to the ow.
I hope this time is really different, that he has realized what he will lose, and the damage that would be done.
Believe I am looking forward to this weekend too....i wonder though whether h will really be open and honest and really make the most of it!
But thank you all for your support....

[ediemarie]

i wonder though whether h will really be open and honest and really make the most of it!

I couldn't have said it better myself. I was just thinking of that 10 minutes ago. I'm trying not to pin all hopes on it and I don't want to EXPECT the miracle - I want the miracle but I don't want to be disappointed. Like any marriage, so much depends on the other half in the relationship. Fingers crossed! 11 days...

[limbo]

Very true Edie!!!

Sometimes I feel like there is something still going on, I have no proof, and I haven't looked for anything, but its just a feeling, I try not to dwell on it, and push it aside...but every so often it bubbles up.
I often wonder if we really do stand a chance to make it, because the relationship is so damaged...are we just fighting a losing battle, is the damage really going to be able to be repaired enought to have a strong trusting relationship!