Only 2 more weeks til Retrouvaille. I hope he will make real progress there. He sounds depressed. He seems to have a high opinion of you and a low opinion of himself.
The one thing that stands out in all of this is the nonsensical, he can't have sex with you because he is being faithful to OW. Of course, you are his wife, to whom he's supposed to be faithful and OW is a mistake. Does not compute. But don't bring it up now. I dont' want to disturb the tranquility in your relationship 2 weeks before you go to Retrouvaille to really work things out.
There is a section of Retrouvaille devoted to your sex life. So this is something you can bring up there. And maybe by that time it will be a moot point. A lot of the couples mentioned that they had sex at Retrouvaille.
This serial monogamy thing is so odd. They can get over being monogamous with us, but get stuck in it with the OW. I had to deal with that with my H too, but not to as great an extent. He was still having sex with me, so I wasn't aware of the relationship. But once I did find out about the affair, then he tried to keep his body away from me. I did have trouble coaxing his penis back into obedience. I felt like a snake charmer trying to get that thing up. He kept saying, leave it alone. But that's not my style. When I'm on a mission....
I always liked to watch him walk around naked, like to close the door before sex, because he would be pointing at me from across the room. But at that time, there was no pointing. So that became my goal. And I did solve the problem.
I know school starts this week in NJ. I hope he finds a decent solution to his problem with that in time. I can't believe he has buried his head in the sand so much on that issue. Surely the school would rather move teachers around than have someone quit the first day of school.
