OH girl, don't beat yourself up. I am happy for you. And you know what, when H and I had sex a few times about 2 weeks ago, I walked away from it kind of like you: I 'used' him as well, wanted him, took him, end of story. Yes, emotions were involved during the act, but I knew what would come of it, and was fine with it. I blew him away when he said the next day "I regret it, never intended to hurt you" blah blah blah and I said "Why? I don't regret it, it was great, and I know it doesn't change anything" and never said another word about it, didn't increase the physical stuff the next day (like more hugs, kisses, etc).
And yep, none of those rotten images we have compare to the actual person in our arms. So unfair, that should be our armor, our protection when our bodies get weak.
