Yes, in case your wondering, breakfast tasted good, lol.
She and son are out today doing things with other moms and kids that was planned before, I told her to go and have fun. I am suppose to go over and BBQ tonight with them.
Things are still seeming unreal, I am just in a state of shock. In the last month or so, I have gone from this is never going to work, that the advice here is great for me but not my marriage, that leaving her alone and not pushing anything is letting her think I don't care anymore what she is doing, that she is/is not having an affair. Don't get me wrong, I have had a bunch of good days in this time period too, but was giving up hope big time just a week ago.
I haven't got her back, yet, but think well on good footing for working that way. Guess what I am saying is this site has made me understand so much more than just begging and crying to get my spouse back, that if I didn't start to change for a better me, nothing good would of happened, whether with her or not with her. I also realize I have moaned and groaned a lot in here, sometimes to the point of annoying, the good thing is I saved it for here and not for her to hear which I am grateful for now. If you asked me a week ago to bet million dollars which way we would end up, I would of said hand downs divorce.
If you still want your spouse, never give up that hope, even as you start to move on, you never really know what they are doing or thinking, mine might as well of been driving an 18 wheeler 75mph and all of a sudden figured out how to make it do hairpin turns on the spot. Just keep doing this DB stuff even if it goes against every grain of thoughts you have.
As for the kiss and hug MK, it was more of a comforting hug and kiss than passionate or anything, she started it and ended it, have not had another one since, but I am okay with that. We have been together and spending and hour or two on the phone every night, not really talking about anything, almost like two teenagers who just talk to talk.
P.S. As I type this she just called to make sure it was okay that they were going out instead of spending the time with me, and that a hoot. I told her again it was fine and I had things to do and would see them later.
I think I get confused in my own typing, better stop now.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Thanks Sara, cire2, Jazz, Mk, JR, Meghan, and Morgan for the thoughts. I am not there yet but doing my best and not jumping the gun either. I have not told anyone one that I know yet, no friends, my family, her family, yeah even her BIL who is my best friend. I don't want to curse anything. As far as I know neither has she.
One thing I forgot to mention on my last post is that she did make the comment last night that if I had done anything to try and keep her, she would of just gone further away. That when she told me she was filing, OM, anything, she actually wanted to see if I would fight for her. When I didn't, she somehow knew it was right. I won't even try to understand that logic but I guess it worked for her.
I still cannot believe what is happening, someone smack me over the head to make sure it is real.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
