Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 4

[Heimlich]

The Cutting Edge!?!? Really?

Sigh, yes, really. I also have an inordinate amount of fondness for the song, "Brandy" by Looking Glass.

To you, it probably just felt like you were going with the flow. But sometimes you might need to go against the current instead.

Yes and yes. I think I've mentioned this before, but it sometimes feel like I experience a month of emotions in a week. It's not been long ago that I told my W the door is still open, and you and OT are right, my W knows how I feel. It just seems like it's been forever. I'll not mention it for a few weeks, or ever (maybe if I staple my tongue to the roof of my mouth), and see how things go.

--the tentative faux oh i forgot going in for a kiss please don't reject me thing

and the

--oh let me tentatively touch your arm oh so sneakily and see if you flinch to see if you might really love me after all

The lean-in wasn't tentative, but rather almost like a forgotten reflex/muscle memory kind of thing. We had been shopping together, enjoying each other's company. I didn't even think about it -- literally just happened -- and only caught myself at the last second. On a positive note, she did volunteer the hug, I didn't ask. It also wasn't the friend, ass-out hug, though not quite a we're still in love hug -- but in between. She also didn't look disgusted/freaked out, which would have been the case 4 months ago (or even 2 months ago).

The arm touches weren't tentative either. Purposely did that a few times to see if she would pull back. Was curious. She didn't. Have also noticed her touching me a bit more and not avoiding me nearly as much as she had been. If anything, I actually walk around her more so as not to bump into her or whatever more than she does to me now.

I'll have to try the playful swat on the butt in the next few days

Thanks again.

BD

PS. I don't feel like I'm wrapped around her finger, just open to either moving forward with or without her. However, my actions need to better reflect that internal feeling.