Nomopo's Thread - Is something happening to me?

[Heimlich]

Strong,

Don't know if DBing is about getting back to me, though that's certainly part of it. I do know that I was unhappy, both in myself and with my R with W. Kind of a chicken and the egg argument, which came first? I know that they became mutually reinforcing over the last three years.

I do know that the DBing principle of focusing on yourself (reinforced by similar statements in other R books) cut through a lot of the blame I was casting at my W and got me to take a hard look at myself. I realized that, to a certain extent, I had lost me and become more 'dad' and 'husband' than Heimlich. And that ain't good.

The STeven Covey concept of 'sharpening the saw' (continuous self-improvement) is something that I think many of us lost over the years as our marriages settled into ruts and we had kids and jobs and lives, etc. Focusing on oneself isn't selfish, it's critical to staying fresh and being able to contribute and be part of a living, growing R. What I finally realized is that if your R isn't living, growing, breathing, changing then it's dying. Being true to yourself is key to any good R.

Don't know if that makes any sense, but . . .

Getting better daily.

BD