H told me that he wants to work on our M and that it is over w/ow. I still feel awful. I don't believe him. I am not feeling joyous like I thought I would.. I feel like I could be a WAW. What is going on?
I'm glad to hear that. I think I can understand your feelings. I've often wondered how I would react if H said he wanted to work things out. I have given so much of myself with so little in return and I'm tired. So don't feel badly I think your feelings are normal. You've been through a very painful situation, but if you don't try to work on it, you always have the what ifs.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
That is good news Olive...looks like you might be the only one of Yoyo, me, you, and Matilda that even get a chance to fix your marriage. The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time and see where things go. He will need to do a lot also. If things really are going to work out, it can't just be you working on the marriage. Don't lose the new Olive...stand up for yourself.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I think that is wonderful, but its been said its not all perfect in the beginning. I wonder if you read up a bit on 'piecing', I am sure you would find many others feeling like you are right now. You have been hurt deeply for a long time by the one person you thought you could trust. It takes quite a bit of work and time to bring that back. I am hoping for the best.
LO, you have every right to feel the way you are feeling. You can't just turn off the hurt because he decides he's done with OW. You've been betrayed in one of the most hurtful ways possible, forgiveness takes time and effort on both your parts. Now that he's ready to work on the M, it means you must allow yourself to be vulnerable once again, your heart says "don't hurt me again". It's not easy to open yourslef up again to that possibility. So take your time, be gentle with yourself but do give him a chance! Just remember, he has to prove to you that he's worthy, not the other way around. Hang in there.
If you want him back he has to prove to you by his actions he means it.Keep on looking out for you and GALing - that's what your H has come back to; that's what's attracting him.
Personally I had to be involved with dumping of OW. I listened to the phone calls my H made and I saw the emails he wrote. He also showed me anything she sent him.
We had no secrets and rolled with the punches.
Laying yourself open and putting yourself in a position where you may get hurt again is frightening but the benefits CAN be wonderful.
AS the control moves from him to you I am sure your emotions will swing backwards and forwards.Gradually things will then start to balance out. Piecing is not easy - personally I think I shall always have to 'work' at our marriage. I didn't before the A and that's probably why it started. I rationalise that it feels like work because how I act now is not the way I would initially act naturally. However, I believe in time the changes to my actions will become second nature and so feel less like work as I go on. Does that make sense? Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Now that he's ready to work on the M, it means you must allow yourself to be vulnerable once again, your heart says "don't hurt me again". It's not easy to open yourslef up again to that possibility.
So true. My heart is definately saying that right now. I thought I'd be jumping for joy to hear those words. But today, I am finding myself looking for reasons to pick a fight and reasons why this is never going to work. H is a bit short-tempered as well. We seem to be getting on each others nerves. Although, H is handling my moods better than I am handling them myself. What is wrong with me??
Thanks for the support everyone. Why can't I just be happy for more than an hour?
