Nomopo's Thread - Is something happening to me?

[Willing NJ H]

NOMO, you didn't reply about choosing a counselor/therapist on my post, but I do understadn as you've been very busy. Any info on how you chose one is welcome. I've been trying to find one according to DR guidelines, but can't find one within an hour that meets the requirements (type of counseling).

Second, I too am working hard on detaching. I've actually been hit on a few times recently (first time in a long time) and it felt good. After restoring a bit of my confidence and speaking with some people, I know i'm a good man and I will be able to find a good woman to love me for who I am. I also know that I will not just make thigns work with just anyone, I will find someone who's as open and willing as I am and is willing to do things like DR/DB, etc. and live similar to them to maintain a open and healthy R. (lol... I'm not going to force feed women books and R methods, but having an open minded woman who's willing to due whatever it takes to meet each others need and keep love alive.) I hope things will work out with my W, but she's stuck in the "finally being true to herself" attitude, and is letting fear and the past run her life. She's made tons of positive comments about me/us, and then talks herself right back out of it. I've been at this for 4 months like HEIM, and the worst thing right now is the limbo. She's doing nothing, incorrectly judging everything, and i'm trying my hardest not to dislike her. I've been sinking my head into every book I can find, and talking on here to make sure I cover every possible solution. It makes me feel better, boosts my confidence and mental fitness, and re-assures me that i'm doing all I can. I think speaking to a live C/T will help me with the end of this process (wherever it leads) and I hope it's back to my W. I too am doing this 70-80% for the purpose of seeing my D every day, but I think it's because i'm mad a W a lot right now.

NOMO, I have a feeling I will be walking in your shoes in the near future, I hope I can handle it with the grace and logic that you have. You are an inspiration.

P.S.- I've read DB and DR (several times), I am almost done with Marriage fitness (describes the ideal R I would like to have, but is no good, in my opinion, until both partners are willing to work on the M. He's also a bit too creative with his examples and such, but good.), I also have The 5 Languages of Love which i've read the introduction and first chapter of (Seems good so far.)

If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know.