heck no I didn't sell the CA house, thank God! There are many adjustments being made here as h has to get used to having d10 and I around and not always wanting to join him in hunting/archery whatever, etc. He's trying to relax and not be so controlling and I am calling him on it, with as much humor as possible. It helps.
H seems a bit depressed to me. And in a rush to cram in so many experiences I wonder if he senses the time here is limited...but I don't know. I cannot tell yet, and when he returned from having a "partnership" discussion yesterday with the Chief of Staff, he didn't seem to want to talk. You are sooo right about NOT saying "I told you so". But I gotta say, when H "noticed" some problems with the contract he MAY have signed (doesn't really know...????wth???) I had to bite my tongue. He "noticed" about 5 things and EACH and every one of them were things I brought up over a year ago. I felt like I was hearing an Alzheimer's patient talking, you know? Geez, but anyhow...I am starting the job this week. I know it does thrill him that I'm earning "real" money again. That annoys me, for reasons you understand. But I also concede that regardless of whether he's "right" to feel that way, he does feel that I should contribute more financially and he doesn't see how his long hours contributed to the need for A parent to be home...so, here we go. Also, fyi, it feels kind of good to earn "my own" money too. Thank God I am too. With H's contract as it is, who the heck knows what he'll make? We NEED my income and that scares me to tell you the truth. But at least we can afford Loyola University for d18 and it comes right out of my pay. I feel good about that. I always told d18 to go where she wanted (she is paying 1/4) and that'd we'd figure a way to pay it. And I kept my word. I cried A LOT when I left her back there in sunny CA to start college, and got on the plane here...where'd the time go? Did I spend enough with her? Does she know enough about the world to make good choices? Does she know what a great young woman she is, and that she deserves respect and love? God, I pray she does.
A moose was at d10's school the other day on the playground. The janitor chased it off with his SUV. A neighbor told me that a grizzly bear killed a moose calf last year...on OUR STREET!! Like it was interesting....the neighbor FILMED it....geez, I'd have shot the thing or tried to help the calf or whatever. OF course, I might be dead too.
H wanted to go hunting and made vague references to getting a motorhome for comfort, etc. I agreed and said it'd be much better to have a motorhome b/c my days of tents and sleeping bags in bear country are over. Finally h mentions that he wants to go TODAY and that it's a 12 hour drive north, blah blah blah....ummm no thanks. I told him I like getting the FULL story up front. No hints, inquiries, etc. Just talk it all out!
ANyhow, gotta get my nails done and pick out something professional looking for the job. First time in years I've gone to a real office. I need my costume and props.. take care VC, and let me know how it's going. Can you tell me 2 or 3 good things going on with your h? If not, that's okay. Could be your mood.
I do believe that comment about behavior/actions leading to emotions being felt, is true. IOW, instead of waiting to "feel the emotion" and THEN act on it, if we engage in a behavior (like extra consideration/courtesy/positive feedback, affection, etc.) it can lead us to feel a particular emotion. Actors use this technique and now therapists are putting more emphasis on it. Seems like a theme in DBIng too. Could also lead to changes in the R, and who knows what else? Good luck, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
