My penance...

[I_Still_Love_Him]

SOP,

I'm not going to even comment on your analogy because you are assuming the PW is talking to OM on a regular basis and since I don't see the similarities, I'm letting that go.

No one said that PW's H is not hurting. I think I tried to explain that as an example in my sitch. Of course, it hurts. I too see H's gf dropping him off and picking him up from the station but it is my choice to continue to love him. If you love someone it is not because of what they do for you but what you do for them. Because H doesn't love me right now or at least doesn't appear to treat me like he does, doesn't mean that I don't love him.

When our kids disrespect us and don't talk to us or say they don't love us, do our feelings for them change?

If you really love someone, it is unconditional without any expectation. It also doesn't mean you should let them disrespect you so you decide what the boundaries are.

I would hope that PW and her H are communicating and working through this together taking each other's feelings into consideration. Of course, if PW doesn't eventually cut off all contact with OP, I can't imagine her H sticking around. You can only be hurt so much before you say enough is enough. What is enough? We all have a different tolerance level and only we know.

Why should prodigal's husband be forced (in this case applicable) to deal with the fallout of her feelings, when she is perfectly capable of dealing with it herself?

Just as PW can't be forced to stop talking to OM, her H can't be forced to put up with it.

What I think is being missed here is that right or wrong, respect is a two-way street and if one of them is feeling disrespected then they need to work on it together to make it work otherwise let it go.

There is no "one size fits all" to reconciling a M but as long as both parties WANT and commit to reconciling, then how they work it out is between the 2 of them. Who are we to judge.

It would be interesting if PW's H could speak for himself and tell us why he is putting up with PW talking to OM. Then we would have HIS perspective.