I agree with you. Taking the kids is a sure fire way to escalate into a war. I don;t think there is much doubt either Heather or her H are willing to resort to power to enforce their boundaries. I thin the problem has been that they are both too willing to do this.
What lacks in Heather's M seems to be enough effective communication to work through these issues, communication without the frustration and anger that blocks cooperation and therefore a resolution. Both go too quickly to their power base IMO.
