H doesn't even want to keep D16 on his cell phone plan although he has plenty of shared minutes---even when I mentioned the advantage of having free calls between them! He thinks since he will be paying child support that he won't do one thing extra! Certaintly won't add one more cent to her college fund!
OMG what a D-I-C-K!!! I am sorry but that is just wrong. She is his child too.
I just thought of something. Child support does not end at 18 does it? It should continue on through college. And can you make that part of the settlement, that H has to continue to contribute to her college fund?
You can tell I do not know much about child support. But I work with a woman who is a single mother of two girls. Every month her X sends her exactly what he was ordered to 11 years ago and not one cent more. Even though his salary has tripled in that time. She has struggled so much to give her girls a little bit of extra's (like playing in the band and and driver's ed and a class ring). I think that is just wrong! I have been urging her to go back and ask for more support, but she is afraid she would not have to the money to fight for it.
Sorry didn't mean to go off on a tangent on your thread, Matilda.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
I am choosing my battles with H. Luckily we do have a college fund established. On H's behalf (since I woke up in a kinder mood than last night) I know he is concerned because he has a mandatory retirement that will happen while D16 is in college. Since he doesn't know what kind of job he will be able to get then he doesn't want to be court ordered to pay child support through college. He did agree to continue with health insurance which was very important to me. I hope I am not selling her short.
It's only fair that I didn't get financially cheated since I was so emotionally cheated.
Thanks for helping me get my attitude right! Money was never important to me....at least that is what I thought while I was financially secure! Now it seems to be my obsession!
Mat, money is not your obsession...saving your marriage is your obsession. Don't ever forget that. Our H's do not care about anyone but themselves, so you do need to stand up for yourself if your marriage goes to D. After everything, none of was LBW's should be cheated anymore than we already have. Keep praying...God will take care of you.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Remember you not only have to provide for yourself you also have that wonderful young lady to provide for. Who knows down the road what kind of relationship she and father will have. I've seen too many times the new wife resents his chilren and the children are the ones that suffer. So I'm not going to fight for myself but my wonderful girls.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yes, he needs to answer the petition by that date, but there does not need to be any sort of settlement in place by then. That's just a convenient excuse to pressure you for the quick settlement he's been wanting all along.
In my XW's petition, she asked for spousal support, "both temporarily and permanently." In my response, I asked that any spousal support should be "of an amount and for a duration sufficient for the plaintiff to establish financial independance." Or something like that. I didn't have a problem with anything else in the complaint, so I would not have bothered to file a response if she had not put the word "permanently" in there.
My point is, I guess, that your husband needs to respond in order to point out any areas of contention. If he doesn't, then you will get what you asked for--which is good for you. So don't help him answer the petition. At all. Tell him if he wants to know what you want, read the petition.
Appreciate the feedback everyone!!! I did actually sleep through the night instead of waking up at 3am like usual. Thanks for the info on the petition, My3sons. I'll have to check the wording. I know H didn't like the part that said I had limited income and he was capable of paying the lawyer costs. Of course, he thinks all lawyers just try to raise up the prices as much as possible. I believe the petition just said something about a fair settlement. "Fair" of course means different things to different people.
I'm off to help my MIL with a project. Then tonight SIL and I are going to dinner and a movie. I guess it is good that my in-laws still talk to me. I certainly need to work on GALing, though!
Hi Mattie, You have some wonderful support on here and got some really great advice. You are going to be okay, although it's probably going to be a long bumpy road, you are strong enough to maneuver it. I've seen your strength grow in the past few months.
We are not the weak vulnerable women we once were. It still hurts, but why do we need someone who is so self-absorbed?
I'm starting to get comfortable in my own skin. I have a wonderful group of friends who love and support me in the real world and on here. I'm doing better about separating those worlds, I vent on here and try my best not to talk about WAS with the ones in the real world. What I have found is it is getting easier to have fun both on here and in the real world.
I rode to the football game last night with a friend and her H. H is very funny, he was cracking jokes all night long. I found myself responding to his humor by also cracking jokes and laughing a alot. Wow, I forgot I had that side to me. Get out there and rediscover all of those sides of yourself.
I hope you have a wonderful time with your SIL tonight. I think I'm going to go out with a divorcee. I don't know her that well, from what I know of he she is very nice. I want to do something adult. I don't know what yet.
Wow, look at me ramble. I hope you have a great long weekend. I'm certainly looking forward to the R&R.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I'm doing better about separating those worlds, I vent on here and try my best not to talk about WAS with the ones in the real world. What I have found is it is getting easier to have fun both on here and in the real world.
I agree Yoyo. It seems like you, me, and Mat all have been in this awhile and it is time to have fun again. It really does help. Keep laughing and having fun....
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
